Are you a
cook? Neither am I.
When dinner comes I only sigh,
Wake up
the phone and grab the book,
And let somebody else be my
cook.
A pizza is a trusty meal,
A color frantic tasty
wheel.
It disappears in your friends,
And lets the party
never end.
But cooking is a tempting craft,
And gazing
down the oven's shaft,
I start to wonder if I can,
cook a
dinner in a pan.
The cooking magic I will work!
No more
will I be a takeout jerk!
I'll prove to the world what I can
be!
I'll make a meal just for you and me.
Into the
kitchen with brave strides,
I walk like a wolf with focused
eyes.
And thinking back to high school days,
I recollect my
mother's cooking ways.
Spaghetti? Oh, that sounds
good!
I grab the package where I stood.
Meatballs I shall
add to the deal.
They'll make an even better meal.
My
mother always said to add
the veggies, but they make me
mad.
To top it off I'll put oil in the pan,
I've heard olive
oil will make it grand.
I say a prayer, turn the
knob,
And a blue flame begins to throb.
It's magic, that's
why it's so blue,
It'll make my tasty dinner stew.
It
starts to boil soon enough,
And the bubbles make the oil
rough.
Then lo-'n-behold it starts to burn
Just when it
knows my back is turned.
I quickly knew something was
wrong
When my stew's smell became too strong.
But not to
fear, ladies and gents,
God blessed me with
intelligence.
All fires are quenched by water
thrown,
That's one sure thing I've always known.
So thinking
quickly I pour some in,
Then I see a frightening thing
begin.
A fiery face came to my eyes,
It must be Satan in
disguise!
It grabbed the stove in a flaming grasp!
I
screamed, and gave a frightened gasp.
What happened next I
can't describe,
But death threatened by my side.
Let loose a
wild lion in my den,
But never, ever, will I cook
again!!