• Law of Electric Blanket Attraction
    Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of light.

  • Law of Random Comfort Seeking
    A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given room.

  • Law of Bag/Box Occupancy
    All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.

  • Law of Cat Embarrassment
    A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.

  • Law of Milk Consumption
    A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show you he can.

  • Law of Furniture Replacement
    A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.

  • Law of Cat Landing
    A cat will always land in the softest place possible; often the midsection of an unsuspecting, reclining human.

  • Law of Fluid Displacement
    A cat immersed in milk will displace her own volume, minus the amount of milk consumed.

  • Law of Cat Disinterest
    A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.

  • Law of Pill Rejection
    Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.

  • Law of Cat Composition
    A cat is composed of Matter + Antimatter + It Doesn't Matter.

     

     


     

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