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The day was a nightmare;
I'll try to explain
the nieces and nephews and grandchildren
came,
and grandpa and grandma had just spent the week,
this
holiday dinner was more than unique.
The turkey was nestled
all snug in the stove
as the moochers arrived at my door by the
drove,
already regretting inviting this breed,
as their
jackets came off and the children were freed.
They stood
there and glared like a posse possessed,
just plotting and
scheming some torture, I guessed,
then lo and behold, like a bat
out of hell,
they turned on us grown-ups like some evil
spell.
While setting the table I let out a shriek,
when a
tiny white mouse from my gravy boat peeked!
Then pickles went
flying and pies hit the floor;
I found a dead worm in the
silverware drawer.
As soda was spilling and olives were
tossed,
I thought about having my own holocaust,
poor grandpa
and grandma were fit to be tied,
and hubby kept mumbling the word
'homicide'!
The dog ran and hid after grabbing his
bone,
and I fled to the kitchen to be left alone,
the house
was in chaos--beyond my belief,
when grandma cried, "Help me--I
can't find my teeth!!"
I said they were soaking right next to
her bed,
then gramps said, "Forget it...the woman's
brain-dead!"
This started her bawling as bad went to worse,
I
reached for the aspirin while chanting a curse.
While
searching the house grandma sputtered and choked,
and I wondered
which brat took her teeth as a joke,
but my thought was
short-lived as a crisis arose,
someone's kid had a carrot stick
lodged up their nose!
The turkey was done, so we sat down to
eat
with poor grandma still sporting a look of defeat,
this
Thanksgiving madness had altered her mood
for she hadn't her
dentures to savor the food.
I dished out the dressing and to
my surprise
a pair of false-teeth lay in front of my eyes!
I'd
have left out the spices if only I'd known...
that the stuffing I
cooked had a 'bite' of it's own!
~ Copyright © Terry
Lerdall-Fitterer ~
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