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You spilled more food on
you than the local soup kitchen
dispenses.
Paramedics bring in the Jaws of Life
to pry you out of
the EZ-Boy.
Your after
dinner moans are loud enough to signal Dr.
Kevorkian.
The "Gravy Boat" your wife set out was
a real 14' boat!
The potatoes you used set off
another famine in Ireland.
You get grass stains
on your butt after a walk, but never
sat
down.
Your "Big Elvis Super-Belt" won't
even go around your waist.
You receive a Sumo
Wrestler application in your e-mail.
You set off
3 earthquake seismographs on your morning
jog
Friday.
Pricking your finger for cholesterol
screening only yielded gravy.
You have 5 TV sets
side-by-side to catch all the football games.
A
guest quotes a Biblical passage from "The Feeding
of
the 5000."
That rash on your stomach turns
out to be steering
wheel burn.
Your wife wears
a life jacket at night in your water
bed.
Representatives from the Butterball Hall of
Fame
called twice.
You consider gluttony
as your patriotic duty.
It looks like the
left-overs are going last until
Christmas.
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