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10. You'll know that your
turkey is a Butterball rather than a Grade E yet
semi-edible fur ball
9. Your mother will not be
serving your mashed potatoes and stuffing with an ice
cream scooper
8. Pumpkin pie is a great
alternative to green jello
7. After your eighth
glass of cider, your emergency dash to the bathroom will
not be delayed by having to line the seat with toilet
paper
6. Clean underwear, comfortable bed, access
to a car, bedroom larger than a 12x14 cell... OK, even
if it is for only four days
5. To eat your meals
the only trek you'll have to make is from the couch to
the kitchen, rather than the dorm to the dining
hall...in below freezing weather
4. Instead of
listening to "when I first started teaching here..." you
can be entertained by "when your mother was your age..."
and "during the Depression we weren't lucky enough to
have brussels sprouts. Hell, all we could afford was the
sprout!"
3. You can eat your corn steamed with
butter rather than popped in your microwave
2.
You'll know the hair in the shower drain is your
own
AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON COLLEGE STUDENTS
ARE LOOKING FORWARD TO THANKSGIVING...
1. You
won't be eating your Thanksgiving meal off a
tray.
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