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As a
blunt object to fend off your pesky cousins
with.
As a projectile to throw at the TV after
Kathie Lee says, "Aren't they a wonderful band!" for the
25th time.
As a hood ornament.
As a
disguise so your ugly Aunt Beatrice can't kiss you and
say, "How much you've grown!"
As a football for
the after-meal game.
One word...
bowling!
As yet another object to drop from the
top of the dorm to test the range of the splatter upon
impact.
As a gift/bribe for a
professor.
As a Christmas gift (avoid the holiday
crowds this way!)
As a doorstop to keep your
relatives out.
Makes a great doggie chew
toy.
Fill it with whip cream - watch the
fun.
An unexplored cavern for the new
Barbie.
A visual aid to explain to children where
babies come from.
Bury in the yard for future
midnight snacks.
If you're flying home, take the
carcass as a carry-on. See what it looks like in the
X-ray machine. Better yet, put it in a pet carrier and
asked the flight attendant for some chicken
feed.
Wear as a helmet, declaring, "I'm
TURKEYMAN!"
Before serving, paste feathers on the
poor naked creature.
Secretly replace with
Folgers turkey crystals.
Place a speaker inside
the bird, and from another room, amaze your guests with
this talking foul!
Throw the turkey out the
window yelling, "You're FREE! Fly! FLY!"
Two
words: Turkey puppet.
Toss the carcass into a
turkey farm to intimidate next year's
stock.
Attach to a fishing pole, slowly drive
around the neighborhood in the back of a pickup and see
how many dogs follow you.
From a concealed
location, toss in front of a passing car. When they
stop, run out screaming that they hit your
dog!
As in an old murder mystery, question all
the dinner guests in an attempt to discover who killed
the guest of honor.
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