How To Overcome Disappointment
You have been disappointed, haven't you?
Of course you have, again and again. Does it hurt very much
when things do not go as you have planned and hoped? Does it
seem as if you "just can't stand it?" Some people can bear
disappointment; they seem to have learned the secret of taking
off the keen edge so that it does not hurt so much. Have you
learned that secret yet? I fancy I hear some one say, "Oh! I
wish I knew that secret." There is more than one part to the
secret. You may learn it if you will; you may get where you
can bear disappointment and keep sweet all the time.
Many
people prepare themselves to be disappointed; they arrange
things so that they are certain to be disappointed. They set
their heart so fully upon the thing they wish to have or do,
whatever it may be, that they make no provision whatever,
except to carry out their plans exactly as they have devised
them. They do not provide for any contingencies that may
arise. Their plans fill their whole horizon. They can see
nothing else; they can think of nothing else; they wasn't it
just that way and no other way. Thus they prepare themselves
to suffer keen disappointment should anything happen different
from what they expect. This is what puts the sting in
disappointment. Always make provision in your plans for
whatever may happen. Always make your promises to yourself
with the provision, "If nothing prevents." If you are going on
a journey, say, "If it does not rain, or if I am well, or if
this or that does not prevent." Keep the thought in your mind
that something may prevent, and do not get it too much settled
as a fact, that you will do, what you have planned. Take into
consideration that you are a servant, not the master; do not
forget to put in, "If the Lord wills."
If
disappointment comes, it may be necessary for us to repress
our feelings of dissatisfaction. If we begin pitying ourselves
and saying, "Oh, it is too bad! It is just too bad!" We shall
only feel the more keenly the hurt; and the more we cultivate
the habit of self-pity, the more power it exercises over us.
Some people have so yielded to the power of self-pity that
whole days are darkened by little trifling disappointments
that they ought to throw off in a few minutes. Nine tenths of
the suffering that comes from disappointment has its root in
self-pity. You have better qualities in you; use them. When
you are disappointed, take hold of yourself and say, "Here,
you cannot afford to be miserable all day because of this."
Repress those feelings of self-pity, lift up your head, get
your eyes on something else, begin making some new plans. Your
old plans are like a broken dish and you cannot us them any
longer. All your fretting and brooding over them will not make
them work out right. Take a new start, smile whether you feel
like it or not. You have many other things to enjoy; do not
let this one thing spoil them all. Refuse to think of your
unpleasant feelings; resolutely shut the door against them.
God will help you if you try.
Another thing to learn is to submit the will and
desires to God. When our plans fail, we must submit to
circumstances, whether we want to or not. If we rebel, that
will not change the circumstances, but it will change our
feelings. The more we rebel, the more we shall suffer. The way
to rid of the suffering is to get rid of the rebellion. We
must submit; therefore, why not do it gracefully? Many times
we cannot change circumstances, not matter how much we dislike
them. Resentment will not hurt circumstances, but it will hurt
us. We need to learn the lesson of submission without
rebellion-submission to circumstances and to God.
The
Lord is our Master. It is right for him to order our lives as
he sees best. Sometimes it is he who changes our plans for his
own purpose; and when he does this, the outcome is always
better than the thing of our own choosing. If we rebel, we are
rebelling against God, and right there, lies the danger. If we
are so determined to have our own way that we do not willingly
submit to God's way, he may have to let us suffer. But when we
submit and commit our ways to him, then we shall have the
consolation and comfort of his Holy Spirit. If we will just
learn to change a single letter in disappointment, and spell
it with an "h" instead of a "d," it will help take the sting
out. Try it once. This is what we have: His appointment. Now,
does not that make it quite
different?