To make it possible for
everyone to attend church this Sunday, we are going to have a special "No
will be placed in the foyer for those who say, "Sunday is my only day to
will be a special section with lounge chairs for those who feel that our
pews are too hard.
drops will be available for those with tired eyes from watching TV late
will have steel helmets for those who say, "The roof would cave in if I
ever came to church."
will be furnished for those who think the church is too cold, and fans for
those who say it is too hot.
will be available for those who wish to list the hypocrites
friends will be in attendance for those who can't go to church and cook
distribute "Stamp Out Stewardship" buttons for those that feel the church
is always asking for money.
section will be devoted to trees and grass for those who like to seek God
Doctors and nurses will be in
attendance for those who plan to be sick on Sunday.
will be decorated with both Christmas poinsettias and Easter lilies for
those who never have seen the church without them.
provide hearing aids for those who can't hear the preacher and cotton wool
for those who think he's too loud!