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A Sunday school teacher
asked her little children, as they were on the way to church
service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright
little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
A little boy opened the big and old
family Bible with fascination, looking at the old pages as he turned
them. Then something fell out of the Bible and he picked it up and
looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that has been
pressed in between the pages. "Momma, look what I found," the boy
called out. "What have you got there, dear?" his mother
asked.
With astonishment in the young boy's voice he answered,
"It's Adam's suit!!"
The
preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached,
he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he
went. Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and
nearly tripping before jerking it again. After several circles and
jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother and
whispered, "If he gets loose, will he hurt us?"
Six-year old Angie and her four-year old
brother Joel were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang and
talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough. "You're not
supposed to talk out loud in church." "Why? Who's going to stop me?"
Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See
those two men standing by the door? They're hushers."
My grandson was visiting one day when
he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?"
I
mentally polished my halo while I asked,"No, how are we alike?"
"You're both old," he replied.
A ten-year old, under the tutelage of
her grandmother, was becoming quite knowledgeable about the Bible.
Then one day she floored her grandmother by asking, "Which Virgin
was the mother of Jesus? The virgin Mary or the King James
Virgin?"
A Sunday school
class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to discuss
the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it
was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shall not
take the covers off the neighbor's wife."
I had been teaching my three-year old
daughter, Caitlin, the Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at
bedtime, she would repeat after me the lines from the prayer.
Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened with pride as she
carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer:
"Lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some
E-mail. Amen."
One
Sunday in a Midwest city, a young child was "acting up" during the
morning worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain some
sense of order in the pew but were losing the battle. Finally, the
father picked the little fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle
on his way out.
Just before reaching the safety of the
foyer, the little one called loudly to the congregation, "Pray for
me! Pray for me!"
And one
particular four-year old prayed, "And forgive us our trash baskets
as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."
One student's prayer: "Now I lay me
down to rest,
And hope to pass tomorrow's test.
If I should
die before I wake,
That's one less test I have to take."
A little boy was overheard praying:
"Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm
having a real good time like I am."
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Kids Say The Darndest
Things!
