1. My husband and I divorced over religious
differences. He thought he was God and I
2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy
every minute of it.
3. Some people are alive only because it's
illegal to kill them.
4. I used to have a handle on life, but it
5. Don't take life too seriously;
No one gets out alive.
6. You're just jealous because the voices
only talk to me
7... Beauty is in the eye of the beer
8. Earth is the insane asylum for the
9. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are
10. Out of my mind. Back in five
11. NyQuil, the stuffy,
12. God must love stupid people; He made
13. The gene pool could use a little
14. Consciousness: That annoying time between
15. Ever stop to think, and forget to
16. Being 'over the hill' is much better than
being under it!
17. Wrinkled Was Not One of the
Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
19. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You
Want Fries With That?
20. A hangover is the wrath of
21.. A journey of a thousand miles
begins with a cash advance.
Stupidity is not a handicap. Park
23. They call it PMS because Mad
Cow Disease was already taken.
24. He who dies with the most toys is
25. A picture is worth a thousand words, but
it uses up three thousand times the
26. Ham and eggs...A day's work for a
chicken,a lifetime commitment for a pig.
27. The trouble with life is
there's no background music.
28. I smile because I don't know what the heck
is going on.
Appreciate every single
thing you have, especially your friends!
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