This story has made its way around the
internet many times and has been attributed to many different
people. It's even
been said that Dan
Rather, the famous TV news
anchor, was the person trying to
pay with a $2 bill.
Regardless of who actually is the person in the story, it's
still a very funny one and I'm sure similar conversations happen
all the time as
the $2 bill becomes more and more rare. They're
still available from most banks,
up on some the next time you plan to head out to the mall and see
many clerks you can confuse!
Bill. Everyone should start carrying them!
I am STILL
laughing!! I think we need to quit saving our $2 bills and bring
them out in public. The younger generation doesn't know they
On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a
quick bite to eat. In my billfold are a $50 bill and a $2
bill. I figure that with a $2 bill, I can get something
to eat and not have to worry about anyone getting irritated at
me for trying to break a $50 bill.
Me: "Hi, I'd like one seven-layer
burrito please, to go."
Server: "That'll be $1.04. Eat
Me: "No, it's to go." At this point, I open my billfold
and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of
Server: "Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right
He goes to talk to his manager, who is still
within my earshot. The following conversation occurs
between the two of them:
Server: "Hey, you ever see a $2
Manager: "No. A what?"
Server: "A $2 bill. This guy just gave
it to me."
Manager: "Ask for something else. There's no such thing as a
Server: "Yeah, thought so."
He comes back to me and
says, "We don't take these Do you have anything
Me: "Just this fifty. You don't take $2
Server: "I don't know."
Me: "See here where it says legal
Me: "So, why won't you take
Server: "Well, hang on a sec."
He goes back to his
manager, who has been watching me like I'm a shoplifter, and says to
him, "He says I have to take it."
Manager: "Doesn't he have anything
Server: "Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the
safe and get change "
Manager: "I'm not opening the safe with him in
Server: "What should I do?"
Manager: "Tell him to come back later
when he has real money."
Server: "I can't tell him that! You
Manager: "Just tell him."
Server: "No way! This is weird. I'm
going in back."
The manager approaches me and says, "I'm
sorry, but we don't take big bills this time of
Me: "It's only seven o'clock! Well then, here's a two
Manager: "We don't take those,
Me: "Why not?"
Manager: "I think you know
Me: "No really, tell me
Manager: "Please leave before I call mall
Me: "Excuse me?"
Manager: "Please leave before I call
Me: "What on earth for?"
Me: "Uh, go ahead, call
Manager: "Would you please just
Manager: "Fine -- have it your way
Me: "Hey, that's Burger King, isn't it?"
point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone
around the corner. I have two people staring at me from the dining
area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect. A few minutes
later this 45-year-oldish guy
Guard: "Yeah, Mike, what's up?"
(whispering): "This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny
Guard: "No kidding!
Manager: "Get this .. A two dollar
Guard (incredulous): "Why would a guy fake a two
Manager: "I don't know. He's kinda weird. He says the only
other thing he has is a fifty."
Guard: "Oh, so the fifty's
Manager: "No, the two dollar bill
Guard: "Why would he fake a two dollar
Manager: "I don't know! Can you talk to him, and get him out
Security Guard walks over to me
Guard: "Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you're
trying to use."
Me: "Uh, no."
Guard: "Lemme see 'em."
Guard: "Do you want me to get the cops in here?"
this point I am ready to say, "Sure, please!" but I want to eat, so
I say "I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this two
I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches
like I'm taking a swing at him. He takes the bill,
turns it over a few times in his hands, and says, "Hey, Mike, what's
wrong with this bill?"
Manager: "It's fake."
Guard: "It doesn't look fake to
Manager: "But it's a two dollar
Manager: "Well, there's no such thing, is
The security guard and I both look at him like he's
an idiot, and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue.
turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink
and some of those cinnamon thingies, too.
Made me want to get
a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what happens when I
try to buy stuff. If I got the right group of people, I could
probably end up in jail. You get free food there,
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