Washington, DC airport ticket agent offers some
examples of why
our country is in
1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an
aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being
near the window.
2. I got a call from a candidate's
staffer, who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the
length of the flight and the passport information, then she
interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you look stupid,
but Capetown is in Massachusetts," Without trying to make her
look stupid, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts,
Capetown is in Africa," Her response - click.
A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a
Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the
vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I
tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle
of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me, I looked on the map and
Florida is a very thin state!"
4. I got a call from a
lawmaker's wife who asked, "Is it possible to see England from
Canada?" I said, "No." She said, "But they look so close on
5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and
asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the
reservation, I noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When
I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard
Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between
gates to save time."
6. An Illinois Congresswoman
called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that
her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 am and got to Chicago at
8:33 am. I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of
Illinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones.
Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought
7. A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do
airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know
whose luggage belongs to whom?" I said, "No, why do you ask?"
She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a
tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think
that's very rude!" After putting her on hold for a minute
while I looked into it (I was laughing) I came back and explained
the city code for Fresno, CA is (FAT), and the airline was
just putting a destination tag on her luggage.
Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to
Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would
it be cheaper to fly to California, and then take the train to
9. I just got off the phone with a freshman
Congressman who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?"
I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was
told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers
10. A lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly
to Pepsi-Cola, Florida. Do I have to get on one of those
little computer planes?" I asked if she meant fly to
Pensacola, Fl. on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever,
11. A senior Senator called and had a question about
the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a
lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him that he
needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times
and never had to have one of those." I double checked and sure
enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said,
"Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have
accepted my American Express!"
12. A New Mexico Congresswoman
called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to
Rhino, New York." I was at a loss for words. Finally, I
said, "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" Yes, what
flights do you have?" replied the lady.
After some searching,
I came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every
airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere. "The
lady retorted, "Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it
is. Check your map!"So I scoured a map of the state of New
York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?"
The reply? "Whatever! I knew it was a big
Now you know
why Government is in the shape that it's
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