Dear
Dad
A father passing by his son's bedroom was
astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked
up. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of
the bed. It was addressed, "Dad". With the worst premonitions, he
opened the envelope and read theletter with trembling
hands:
Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing
you. I had to elope
with my new girlfriend because I wanted
to avoid a scene with mom and you.
I've been finding real passion
with Joan and she is so nice, even with all
her piercings,
tattoos, and her tight motorcycle clothes. But it's not only
the
passion dad; she's pregnant and Joan said that we will be very
happy.
Even though you wouldn't care for her as she is so much
older than me, she
already owns a trailer in the woods and has a
stack of firewood big enough
for the whole winter. She
wants to have many more children with me, and that's
now one of
my dreams too. Joan taught me that marijuana doesn't
really
hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it
with her friends for
all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the
meantime,we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan
can get better. She sure deserves it!! Don't worry Dad, I'm
16 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm
sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your
grandchildren.
Your son,
John
PS: Dad, none of the above
is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house.
I just wanted to
remind you that there are worse things in life
than my report
card that's in my center desk drawer. I love you!
Call
when it is safe for me to come
home