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IMPORTANT
RECALL NOTICE:
The Maker of all human beings is
recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or
year, due to the serious defect in the primary and
central component of the heart. This is due to a
malfunction in the original prototype units code named
Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same
defect in all subsequent units.
This defect has
been technically termed, Sub-sequential Internal
Non-morality, or more commonly known as SIN, as it
is primarily
expressed.
Some other
symptoms:
| [a] Loss of
direction |
| [b] Foul vocal
emissions |
| [c] Amnesia of
origin |
| [d] Lack of peace
and joy |
| [e] Selfish, or
violent behavior |
| [f] Depression or
confusion in the mental component
|
| [g] Fearfulness
|
| [h] Idolatry
|
| [i] Rebellion
|
The
Manufacturer, Who is neither liable nor at fault for
this defect, is providing factory authorized repair and
service free of charge to correct this SIN defect.
The Repair Technician, Jesus, has most
generously offered to bear the entire burden of the
staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional
fee required. The toll free number to call for repair in
all areas is:
P-R-A-Y-E-R.
Once
connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the
REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT
from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart
component. No matter how big or small the SIN defect is,
Jesus will replace it with:
| [a] Love
|
| [b] Joy
|
| [c] Peace
|
| [d] Patience
|
| [e] Kindness
|
| [f] Goodness
|
| [g] Faithfulness
|
| [h] Gentleness
|
| [i]
Self-control
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Please see the operating manual, HOLY
BIBLE, for further details on the use of these fixes. As
an added upgrade, the manufacturer has made available to
all repaired units a facility enabling direct monitoring
and assistance from a resident Maintenance Technician,
the Holy Spirit.
Repaired units need only make
Him welcome, and He will take up permanent residence on
the premises!
WARNING: Continuing to operate the
human being unit without correction voids the
Manufacturer's warranty, exposing the unit to dangers
and problems too numerous to list, and will result in
the human unit being permanently impounded.
For
free emergency service, call on JESUS.
Thank you for your
attention.
Please assist where possible by
notifying others of
this important recall
notice.
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