'Twas the month after Christmas,

When all through the house,

Nothing would fit me,

Not even a blouse!

The cookies I'd nibbled,

The eggnog I'd taste...

At the holiday parties,

Had gone to my waist!

I remember the marvelous meals all prepared:

The gravies and sauces,

The beef "nicely rared".

The wine and the rum balls,

The bread and the cheese,

And the way I NEVER said,

"No, thank you, please."

As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt,

And prepared once again to do battle with dirt,

I said to myself (as only I can),

"You can't spend a winter disguised as a MAN"!

So---away with the last of the sour cream dip,

Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip!

Every last bit of food that I like must be banished,

'Til all of the additional "ounces" have vanished!

I won't have a cookie,

Not even a lick!

I'll want only to chew,

On a celery stick!

I won't have hot biscuits,

Or corn bread or pie,

I'll munch on a carrot,

And quietly cry.

I'm hungry...I'm lonesome...and life is a bore!

But isn't that what January is for?

Unable to giggle,

No longer a riot!

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL,

AND TO ALL A GOOD DIET! 

 

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