Did you know that hanging lights on a
Christmas tree is one of the three most
stressful situations in an on-going
relationship?
Six's Psychiatrist claims
the other two danger zones are teaching your
mate to drive and wallpapering. He is rarely
wrong on these things.) We rush to print with an
emergency prompt list of Things Not To Say When
Hanging Lights on the Christmas
Tree.
-"You've got two red lights right
next to each other, dummy. You're supposed to go
yellow, green, red, blue, not yellow, red, red,
green, blue..."
-"Up a little higher. You
can reach it. Go on, try."
-"What do you
do to these lights when you put them away every
year? Tie them in knot?"
-"Come away from
that aluminum ladder, kids. I'm going to fry
that sucker."
-"If you're not going to do
it right, don't do it at all. Don't just throw
them on, like you do the icicles. You're worse
than your father."
-"Give me
that!"
-"You've got the whole thing on
the tree upside-down. The electric pluggee thing
should be down here at the bottom, not up at the
top."
-"I don't care if you have found
another two strings, I'm done!"
-"You've
just wound 'em around and around - I thought we
agreed it shouldn't look like a spiral this
year?"
-"Have you been
drinking?"
-"Where's the
cat?"
