'Twas
the month after Christmas, and all through the
house
Nothing would fit me, not even a
blouse.
The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog
I'd taste
At the holiday parties had gone to
my waist.
When I
got on the scales there arose such a
number!
When I walked to the store (less a
walk than a lumber).
I'd remember the
marvelous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and
sauces and beef nicely rared.
The
wine and the rum balls, the bread and the
cheese
And the way I'd never said, "No thank
you, please."
As I dressed myself in my
husband's old shirt
And prepared once again
to do battle with dirt.
I said
to myself, as I only can
"You can't spend the
winter disguised as a man!"
So...away with
the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of
the fruit cake, every cracker and
chip.
Every
last bit of food that I like must be
banished
"Till all the additional ounces have
vanished.
I won't have a cookie...not even a
lick.
I'll want only to chew on a long celery
stick.
I won't
have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or
pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly
cry.
I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a
bore...
But isn't that what January is
for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a
riot.
Happy New Year to all and to all a good
diet!
